By Swami’s grace, I got the first token and I was seated in the first row also. A devotee sitting a few rows behind me came forward to a lady sitting next to me, and asked her if she could give her letter to Swami. This reminded me of my friend’s instruction about writing Amma’s mantra & giving it to Swami. I had totally forgotten about it.
I really wanted to offer by writing the Vasantha Sai mantra Amma and give it to Swami, and see Swami’s response or acknowledgement.
I was told that Amma’s mantra was given by Swami Himself and is very powerful . I started frantically searching for a pen and paper by asking every devotee sitting nearby. None of them had it, as it is not allowed. I checked my small darshan hand bag and found a small printed sheet. All I could find was a small area which was empty. I thought I would write Amma’s mantra at least one time in that small space, instead of 108 times. Then I was looking for a pen/pencil to write but none had it.
While I was still searching for a pen to write, Swami glided into the Kulwant hall. I was so thrilled to be seated in the first row. But I was also sad that I wasn’t able to write Amma’s mantra and give it to Swami. Swami looked at me, and passed by.
Swami went to the stage and started going through the letters. Bhajans were going on but I was haunted by the thoughts that I wasn’t able to write the mantra for Swami. Somehow, I still wanted to give it a try so that I can give it to Swami when He goes back to His residence.
By His Grace, a new thought sprouted in my heart.
It said, “Should I need only a pen/pencil to write? Can’t I use my body’s blood as an ink and write the mantra?” I got so excited by this thought and removed a safety pin from my saree and started pricking my finger tip. Being anemic, even after pricking hard, I got only a small drop of blood. I thought about how I was going to write the whole mantra ‘Om Sri Sai Vasantha Saiesaiya Namaha’ with so little blood.
Confused by the situation, I thought with the little drops of blood that I had, I could probably write only “I ♥ U” … So I went ahead and wrote the same by pricking my fingers in a couple of places.
After finishing that, I was still restless. I was not satisfied, as I wanted to write Amma’s mantra, but I wrote something else. So I thought I would write Amma’s name “VASANTHA SAI”. But there wasn’t enough space. So I thought I would write just the initials “V S”, so it will become “I ♥ U V S”.
Before attempting to write “V S”, I begged Bhagavan to make the students sing one of my favorite bhajan “Sri Raghu Nandana, Dasaratha Nandana”…, as an acknowledgement from Swami.
I pricked, and managed to get a small drop of blood. I just started to write the letter “V” with blood. Bhagavan immediately asked the students to stop the bhajan that was going on at that time. I was terribly shocked and suddenly fear overtook me. I thought Bhagavan was angry at my action, and probably asking who am I to write Amma’s name in blood. It is probably a sacrilege to write Divine Mother’s name in our impure blood. Such thoughts haunted me in that short span of time. I was trembling. Bhagavan was interacting with the singing boys, and lo & behold !!!! the bhajan “Sri Raghu Nandana, Dasaratha Nandana” started … All the fear & doubts were totally replaced by HIS overflowing Divine Love and Compassion. I was overwhelmed by His Love, and cried & cried uncontrollably for the whole song like a small kid.
I understood Bhagavan’s deep Love for Amma, from the depth of my heart.
After the song, I pricked more, and managed to finish writing “V S”. I was filled with happiness and thrill, as Bhagavan was approaching me on the way back to His residence, after evening darshan. I stretched out my hand and tried to give that paper to Swami. Swami’s chair stopped right before me, and His compassionate Divine eyes zoomed into the paper I was holding. Swami gave a charming smile and looked deep into my eyes, to drench me further in His Love. His eyes had a soothing blue Aura around the retina. He didn’t accept the paper. Probably He wanted me to give it to Amma, when I visited Mukthi Nilayam, which I did, soon after that.
I can never forget this experience in my lifetime. Since that time, I have had the opportunity to have Amma’s darshan in Mukthi Nilayam many times, and Amma & Swami blessed me profusely. I had many more experiences later, to reveal the truth that Amma and Swami are one and the same.
I am so indebted to Them for Their kindness and love.
— Vardhini, Chennai, India